THE END MAY 2014 NEWSLETTER

This is customer appreciation month for all existing Paint Spot customers! Simply put, this means 10% across the board discount for ALL orders placed through out the entire month of May. I’m not trying to “sucker” anyone into over stocking, but if any of the jobbers I used to buy from would have offered this to me…..I definitely would have! Do the math, this is a sure fire way to raise your revenue 10%.

Thank you (who ever you are) for delivering my newsletter to Mr. Shanklin at the New Braunfels Antique swap meet / car show. Thank you Mr. Shanklin for responding to me via e-mail so abruptly. Your journalistic ability is impressive and quite to the point. Have you considered a newsletter for your company?

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, let me fill you in. Dan Shanklin is a Matrix jobber out of Tyler Texas. He has been part of the Matrix family for quite some time and was originally signed up at a time when Matrix was not quite the enterprise it is today. Back in those days, in an effort to get the product out into the hands of you refinishers, deals were made that would not be considered today. I should know, I was one of them!

Matrix used to be similar to “Rubber Seal”, in that it was basically mail order or “wagon peddled” (a trailer pulled by a truck). “Doug Davidson” was accredited with most of the early sign ups to jobbers and “W.D.’s (warehouse distributors) and he is the man responsible for The Paint Spots existence. I know that the Matrix guys have made many changes in recent years, and for good reasons. Unfortunately these changes included the criteria for being an authorized Matrix distributor, which pretty much put a crimp on Doug’s style of sales. Now personally, I have no ill will toward Doug Davidson, like I said, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for that man. As a matter of fact, Matrix wouldn’t be the company it is today without him.

The problem was that there really wasn’t a lot of rules simply because there was no reason. Fast forward a few years, and now Matrix is a big deal……….all of the sudden sales style, appearance, ethics, and territory are big issues that haunt us to this day. Furthermore, a W.D. / Jobber (all in one) is a “conflict of interest”. i.e.; a W.D. buys direct from mfg, but can sell at full retail or……..sell below a nearby jobber that he’s in all likely hood been supplying! This was a huge issue!

Because of these early signings and the issues associated with them, the only way to make it work is with good old fashioned honor and integrity. This is what I have come to understand and respect as a Matrix jobber. I will state right here right now that I never sell in another Matrix jobbers territory unless I was called in by the potential customer to do so, and most of the time the customer had heard of my hands on experience in problem solving as well as application. Over the years I have accumulated several customers that would normally be considered someone else’s territory, and here’s how it usually happens; they are having problems with current supplier, there’s quality issues, or they’ve switched to another paint brand because they couldn’t deal with their Matrix supplier……..I switch them back and then spend as much time working out their issues as it takes! Here’s the reality; it costs us money to go out of our territory to service these folks number one, and number two…..I always bring Matrix (the company) into the loop prior.

As it relates to Mr. Shanklin, New Braunfels is clearly Paint Spot territory, and we do not have customers that are looking to replace us! At the bottom of everyone one of these newsletters it clearly states “Whatever it Takes” and that is not some stupid catch phrase that I pulled out of nowhere…………IT’S THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!

Dan, you don’t have to come into my territory to make a living, Matrix materials will do that all by itself……in TYLER! If it’s not, I will even offer to help you figure out why. We’re all in this together Dan and I think if we keep our cool and apply proper work ethic, we could do so much more for the company who’s products we sell. My challenge to you is to accept my offer, shake my hand, and let’s rock on……the right way.

When I was finishing up the April newsletter my mom was hospitalized with a perforated stomach (that and the House of Kolor guy who blew me off……I’ll get back to that after this). The operation was said to be a relatively simple procedure, and that mom would be fine, well it didn’t turn out that way.

My mother divorced my father when I was five and married another man shortly thereafter (my step father). Right away they sold the house my dad and her had bought, little did we know (there were four of us kids) that was the last house we would ever own. My stepfather was the kind of guy who lived beyond his means which lead to eviction after eviction from rent houses, changing schools like most people change underwear, and fancy cars that we couldn’t afford getting repo’d at an alarming rate, all the while we kids went without. This is definitely the most I’ve ever talked about this subject primarily because I don’t believe in the word “VICTIM”, and this will make me appear to be just that. I do believe in this saying though “You are the company you keep”. That said, my mom was just as guilty for what my step dad did as he was. She enrolled us in school after school with his last name, and we weren’t given a choice. At seventeen (I had just turned seventeen), I came home from school or work (don’t remember) and was told by mom that “We’re moving to Eugene Oregon”, and I responded “far out, let’s go”, to which she said “no Rick ,we’re moving, you’re on your own”…………I’ve been on my own ever since. The only one of us kids that went was my younger brother. My younger sister went to live with a school friend and their family, and my older sister was already married. That was the fragmenting of our family and yet another slice added to the chip on my shoulder, a chip that I didn’t quite know how to define, but assumed it must have something to do with mom, dad, and step dad.

As time went by I eventually stopped getting into trouble, started working excessively to stay out of trouble, and started a family. As my family grew I seemed to have less and less need for my original family, and grew to understand that living the way we had, was irresponsible and stupid, and as far as I was concerned, mom and step dad were my role models of “what NOT to be”. I learned that by relying on things my father and grandfather had taught me, was my best way of getting something good out of life. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed off at my mom for all the lies about my dad, lies about borrowing money time after time from my grand parents, hounding my dad about child support that the man had to send weekly (and did faithfully) while he lived on friends couches and motels, and why we had to move in the middle of the night to another rent house……..I was pissed! I loved my mom but I damn sure didn’t understand my mom. For me, the word “why” wasn’t three letters long, it was a million miles long!

Fast forward several years, my step dad dies……a sort of “blessing in disguise”. My mom is stuck like chuck out in Bakersfield California, and us kids get the call to help mom. My sister went and moved mom back here to Granbury Texas where she stayed for seven years. I would pick mom up every summer to stay with me in Canyon Lake for two or three weeks, and between all four of us kids we took care of moms needs. She did get social security every month, but if mom had ten bucks, she’d spend twelve. She finally came to live with me about three years ago, I felt obligated because I was her son, but also because my older sister needed a break.

So here I am, the son who had all these pent up issues with my mom, now taking care of her.

One on one, just me and mom (I was divorced) and the justification started. Everything was step dads doing, and she was just powerless………I put a stop to that right now! Before that night was over, there was reckoning. No more altering the stories, no more blaming others, just a whole bunch of tears (from both of us) and the final blurb of honesty I was waiting all my life for……”Rick, the biggest mistake I made in all my life was leaving your father, he was the finest person I have ever known, and I am ashamed of myself for what a spoiled little brat I was and how, because I was really mad at myself, I bad mouthed him constantly”! Better late than never is how I summed that up. There’s so much more to this story, but my newsletter is probably not the best forum for airing it….lol!

This was a new beginning for my mother and I, but not for my siblings and I. Because we had all went our own way, we weren’t communicating much, not only that, but we’d fill in blank areas with assumptions that in our mind became facts about how and what we each were like. Most of those assumptions were literally based on hatred for each other, and I am ashamed of myself for my part in it! We all had kids now, but none of them really knew each other, especially mine…..I didn’t feel the need and just didn’t care, to be perfectly honest I didn’t want my kids to associate with their cousins (like I said…..I’m ashamed ) Now, I had all the vindication that I needed with mom, but my siblings didn’t.

Mom and I coexisted for the next three years at home here in Canyon Lake. She still spent more money than what she had, but really tried to learn from her son what “responsible” meant. I took her to bingo on Thursday nights, church more recently, and even on the hiking expedition from hell last mothers day because that’s what she wanted to do (she liked to wore me out!) She would go shopping and to Katherine’s hair salon once in awhile, and the occasional birthday party. She would always be involved in my friends coming around for BBQ’s and a lot of beer drinking, and even offered up her opinion on my “flavor of the month” girlfriends saying “wow Rick I like her” to which I usually said sorry mom she’s history, or she dumped me! She loved her plants and animals and said my property reminded her of a park. She continually thanked me for bringing her into my home and lifestyle. When I was dealing with Cancer, it was mom who was beside herself with grief for me, even though I was all about…….I got this mom, you just don’t like the idea of your son being the guinea pig because I might die before you, don’t worry mom somebody has to do it and it might as well be me! How happy she was when it really did work.

She ate to her blood type just like me, and she had no need for a medical doctor just like me, and she experienced health that she never knew. Her diabetes was gone. Her feet and legs that had been black for years and years were perfectly normal. Her stroke medication was history (she had several strokes in the past and was genetic). She was completely off ALL prescription medicine, and here’s what happened.

My mother had always had a habit of taking aspirin, after all, it is said to be a good thing, right? Wrong! Stupidly, I knew she took aspirin and as much as I’m into the homeopathic, I should have known better than to have them around. I just didn’t think that much about it. I had almost no need for aspirin since I got into the holistic thing, and especially since I gave up drinking.

Mom had been taking them without me knowing and without realizing just how bad they could be. As a result they ate through her stomach lining. To and insult to injury, when she wasn’t feeling good because of it, she didn’t tell me. I knew something was wrong a couple of days prior to the hospitalization and when I asked her if she wanted me to take her to the doctor she said “I got a little bug, and I’ll get rid of it, not a big deal”. I would come to regret my not being insistent. I later found out from a friend whom she had talked to that she knew I was trying to finish my daughters truck for the up coming Lone Star Round up, and didn’t want to bother me. My mom specifically told her “don’t say anything to Rick”. Two days later I was awoken to my mom yelling my name……I knew it was an emergency and upon seeing her, had Cheyenne call 911. As I stated earlier, the surgery was supposed to be minor, and was……..until infection set in 2 days later. They stitched her up and didn’t notice an even larger hole on the backside of the stomach. By this time she was in such poor condition that I was told by the doctors and my younger sister who was monitoring everything from California that chances at her age of surviving the second surgery were bad at best. I had actually broke down and communicated with my sister after years of no contact, the first indication of the power of our mother! Mom did survive the operation, and seemed to be doing steadily better, and then started deteriorating. By this time my brother had come to Texas and communicated with mom, my older sister had come from Granbury and seen mom, my niece came with, and my younger sister flew in from California too. We all took part in violating mom’s “DNR” as it just seemed to be the only way to save her. Suddenly we all forgot our past and were all one in saving our mom. We had forgotten how much we needed each other and our mother, and the love that we felt was like none other……….mom did that, every bit of it! This was her way of undoing all that preceded it, and we all knew it! My brother had to get back to California for work, and then my older sister had to do the same. My younger sister and I were the only ones left with mom at that point. She stayed with me in Canyon Lake and in my house which may seem insignificant, but for us it was the equivalent of caging a lion and a lamb……together! That’s when we set the record straight between us and realized how much we loved each other. It was only bad memories, going without, and abandonment mixed in with bull shit that we stupidly inserted because we didn’t know the facts that had kept us apart. One by one all of the conversations I had with my siblings reflected negativity that when discussed, always lead back to positive. We understood that although we never had growing up what we wanted, we always somehow had what we needed, and the one thing we needed most was each other!

Mom’s last spoken word was one that I had heard several times during my month long stay at the hospital “HOME”. The last time it was heard, it was my sister who was listening. “Kim” is a nurse with well over thirty years experience, and from a clinical perspective she knew of no reason why mom couldn’t pull through, other than mom herself not wanting to. We both knew mom wanted to go home, but were selfishly keeping her where we thought she should be. When Kim heard that and made mention I asked her, Kim, forget being a nurse and lets forget what “we” want, “is mom dying”? She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said “yes Rick, I think she is”. That was Saturday night. We brought our siblings into the loop and told them that we were taking mom home. Kim had to fly back to California Sunday and I told her that I would make the call end of day Monday. I went to see mom Sunday night and she was totally unresponsive and figured she was excessively tired and that the next day would bring better results. I went Monday morning and knew very soon, that end of day was too late. I asked to talk to the staff and told them I wanted to take my mom home, they freaked out! They tried for hours to talk me out of it, and the reason was the “Levofed” was artificially holding her blood pressure up and without it she would have not more than 3 minutes of life. A federal law prohibits it from being administered by anyone except a hospital, including an ambulance. I said I’ll do it and I’ll sign off the liability. They said they can’t. The CEO of the hospital even got involved and assumed responsibility, but the ambulance company said no. All day long while this was going on mom was becoming a celebrity. Everyone in the hospital was rallying behind her getting home. Cody (a male nurse) had told me that the last sense to go is hearing, so all day I was telling mom “Mom this is Rick and I’m taking you home, I promise you mom I will take you home right now, just believe me and hang on mom I’m not leaving you, you’re going home” over and over all the while wondering if she could out last the system. Cody finally said, ok the drivers are on their way, and “They” say “Levofed” can’t be administered outside the hospital, but I swear I’m not disconnecting this stuff until those double doors are open and the ambulance is ready for your mom to get loaded in. He did just exactly that, and then he administered 40 cc’s of flush that he said could buy her another couple of minutes. I rode in the ambulance with my mom telling her where we were and that we were heading for home. My son had a clear runway back to the house and mom’s bed fully prepared for her. The hospice met us in the driveway. I held on to my mom all the way to her room and assisted in getting her off the gurney and onto her bed. Just as soon as I put her on her bed I ran to the other side and said (sobbing so bad I could hardly speak) “Mom, this is your eldest son Rick, I promised you I would take you home and you are home mom, you really are home” and then I kissed her. I swear to all who may read this what I’m about to say is the God’s honest truth……………she gently took one breath and then passed away.

Mom, you left behind four of us that you brought back together at your own expense. To you mom, “this is your eldest son Rick, I make two final promises to you, I will love you all the rest of my days and, your four children will never be apart again”.

So here’s your kiss, go nite nite mom, I’ll see yuh in the mornin, and mom, thanks for the new…….beginning Whatever it Takes Mom. Your proud sons and daughters, Richard Mario Ciotti, Kimberli Anne Ciotti, Ronald Anthony Ciotti, Lorrie Denise Ciotti (Nicholson)

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